Hard is Not Relative. Hard is Hard.

Sometimes my clients minimize their struggles, and try and tell me that their childhood wasn’t that bad, so really, they shouldn’t be there whining about it. There are such worse things that could have happened, and people going through so much worse, and they ask, “Who am I to complain?”

I tell them everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own struggles. What’s “easy” for one person may be “hard” for another. What’s manageable for one person, may feel like a crisis for someone else.

ashbeckhamAsh Beckham, in the her TED talk, said, “Hard is not relative. Hard is just HARD.” And she’s right. We all have challenges, and no one can judge another’s, and shouldn’t even judge their own. Beckham’s TED talk is brilliant, and real.

We ALL Have Closets, she says. Hers was painted rainbow, but “guess what? When you’re inside the closet you can’t see what color it is, it’s just DARK.”

Plus, she beautifully and simply illustrates why living in a closet (whatever your closet is, whatever hard conversation you need to have is) is harmful to us. Fight or flight. Rumble or Run.

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