You know when you’re in Target and you see that mom that has her hair falling out of the messy bun, and one kid in the shopping cart, and the other trying to run to the toy section, and she’s trying to navigate the cart without running into the Marvel action figures on the end cap while holding on to her kid by the elbow, and he’s collapsing into dead weight, screaming and whining, and the little one in the cart’s nose needs wiping?
Have you BEEN that mom?
And you know, just know, that everyone within earshot is rolling their eyes and judging you?
Or maybe you have a new baby, and you’re freaked out every moment that you’re going to do something to mess her up for life, and you have no idea how other new moms get through the day without crying (psst, they don’t), or you’re about to completely lose it because it’s already 3 o’clock and you have no idea what’s for dinner and no one told you it was going to be this hard.
Oh sweetie. C’mere. Just bring it in….you need a hug.
It’s going to be okay.
It really is.
People joke all the time about how we need to have Parenting 101 before being allowed to have a child. And holy buckets, have you seen how many parenting books there are? And they contradict each other all over the place. And for heaven’s sake you can’t tell FacebookLand about your decisions or it’ll be open season on your choices.
So where can you turn to get help? Especially if you don’t feel like your instincts are very popular with the rest of the parenting world…what to do? Just wing it?
Well maybe. But that might not be very reassuring.
I can help you to settle into yourself as a parent. I can give you information and feedback, guidance and reassurance, and help you develop your true self as a mom or dad.
I can help you manage your overwhelm, your anxiety, your “baby blues” (or your toddler blues, or the pre-teen blues…the adventures of parenting an adolescent…) and tell you if what you’re feeling is normal, or if extra support to get through a challenging period is appropriate.
“Yabut…” (you might be asking) “…how are you different than my helpful Facebook friends or a book?”
Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t judge you, or your parenting. And I don’t offer generalized, cookie-cutter advice meant for the masses.
I truly believe that:
1) every family is unique. There are so many ways to guide a child from infancy to adulthood, and your history, values and lifestyle all factor into that.
2) being an optimal parent is way more about learning how to connect with yourself and your partner and kids that it is about deciding where they sleep, whether or not they are breastfed and for how long, and if they are homeschooled or traditionally schooled.
That said, there are circumstances that get in the way of that connection. Maybe it’s your own history of unresolved trauma, or your own struggles with anxiety or depression. Maybe it’s that your child doesn’t fit with the school she’s in. Or maybe it’s that your spouse disagrees with you on EVERYthing…or maybe it’s that you don’t have a parenting partner and you’re doing this alone.
Here’s what you won’t get from me:
I won’t tell you you’re wrong or bad. Quite the contrary. I’ll more likely tell you all the ways you’re doing it right, and some added bonus tricks of how to feel even more competent.
I won’t refer you right off the bat to a doctor so that you, or your kid can get medication. And if medications are already being utilized, and are helpful, I’m not going to tell you to stop using them.
What you might get, on the other hand, is some compassion, some gentle guidance, and an opportunity to heal any parts of yourself that are getting in the way of you being the parent you want to be. I can help you connect the dots of your own past with the struggles of today, in a way that will get you excited, and inspired to grow.
If you aren’t sure you can use the form below to ask me more details, and share a bit about your situation:
And if you want to get to know me a bit better, sign up for my newsletter. You can get a FREE eBook, as well as get to know me on your timeline. I know it’s not easy to reach out to a stranger with your personal concerns, so take as much time as you need.